China and the Bad Idea
by RussianMochi
Summary: China is tired of Russia sneaking up on him, trying to kidnap him, trying to hit him with a pipe, being a creep in general. So he gets the help of a certain place called Jusenkyo... But things don't always turn out as planned, now do they? First story, please be nice.


**China is tired of Russia creeping him out all the time, so he gets a little help from the Jusenkyo cursed spring water. Only, things don't always work out as planned… Nothing bad in this, but T just to be safe.**

**China: RussianMochi doesn't own Ranma ½ or Hetalia-aru!**

**Me: Did you come out of that magic portal in my closet?**

**Alphonse, Edward, Shikamaru, Deidara, Russia, and America: WE DID TOO! (It was troublesome) [If you don't know who said that you are a disgrace to Otaku everywhere. JK]**

**Canada: ****Um, I did too.**

"This is last straw-aru!" China grumbled to himself, throwing clothes, maps, and copyright infringed stuff into a backpack. He was going to get back at Russia.

Russia had dressed up as a Hello Kitty Plushie so he could beat the crap out of China with a metal faucet. Fortunately, Hong Kong had realized that the nose was colored wrong, so he saved him in time. But China was still pissed.

A book fell off a shelf onto China's head. He rubbed his head, and opened up the book at seeing the odd title, roughly translated to "Way to Make Everybody Serve You through Fear". "Heh. I know best way to get back at that creep jerk!" he exclaimed, looking at a map in the book. "Russia will never see this coming, because only Japan and me know about this!"

China grabbed a couple water bottles and stuffed them into the backpack. He would make Russia sorry he had ever messed with the great country of China!

…..

China walked into the meeting hall of the Allies. He had what he needed in his backpack. Four bottles of very dangerous water. He pulled one out that he had carefully labeled, "Drowned Cat". When Russia found him, he was in for a surprise of his life.

He was so wrapped in his thoughts, he didn't hear the footsteps behind him. A very quiet and gentle voice said, "Um, excuse me, but…" China jumped, and as he did so, the water bottle he was holding slipped out of his hand, burst open, and fell onto the person behind him. China turned around to see a small tan kitten, wearing glasses and sporting an abnormally long curl, blinking in surprise. The water had done its job, but not on the right person!

"Aiyaa! I am sorry Canada! I no see you there!" China screeched.

"China, what did you do?" Canada said in voice that would be yelling, but was so soft, it sounded quiet. **(Japancat can talk in human speech, so they can too. They're not human, the rules are different)**

"Um, I accidentally dump curse spring water on you. It made you turn into cat. I'll change you back later, but for now…" China couldn't risk Canada letting Russia know about this so… "Sorry, Canada. It nothing personal."

Canada kitten started to say, "What's nothing personal?" but he got hit in the face with a spray of sleeping gas. He flopped on the ground, and China threw him in a basket, duct taped it shut, and stuffed it in a desk cabinet. "I'll turn him back later… Probably."

ಠ_ಠ 

England was annoyed. France had been sick all week so he had been forced to take care of him. And to make things worse, France had constantly criticized England's clothing, food, literature, etc.

He had to find someone else to take care of France… Ah, there was China randomly sneaking about. He would ask/force him.

"Hey, China," England called. China flinched but turned around. "I'm in a spot of trouble and I was wondering if you can lend me a hand."

"Um, depend on what you need…"

"I just was wondering… Hey, what's that you got there?" England pointed to a water bottle China was holding.

"J-just water…"

"Right, well, could you take care of France until he gets better? It shouldn't be long. Thanks, you're a good friend." England patted him on the shoulder.

"AIYAA! What!?" China yelled. "I hate that creepy a-hole! No way!"

"Please, China! I'm going crazy!" England pleaded, shaking his arm.

"No! I not do it!" China shook his head. He forgot he was holding the water bottle, and pushed England away, but the nozzle on the water bottle broke, and splashed all over England. Crap that's made in China sucks.

"Oh crap. I just messed up again…" China looked at the small child standing in front of him.

"What the heck China!? That was not 'Just water'!" the smaller version of England yelled.

China did not feel like having to explain again, so he used the last of his sleeping gas, and stuffed the little England into a trashcan. "I have to turn him back, too. This is big trouble…"

You can guess who's next…

China walked into the Allies' meeting room… Russia wasn't here! Only America! Oh, well. It didn't hurt to wait a few hours.  
>"Yo, China. Wassup?" America asked. His hands were entirely covered with grease and oil, and he was playing around with a car battery.<p>

"I am just waiting for meeting to start," China answered, sitting down.

"It's totally freaky that I'm the first one here," America said, not listening. "France is sick, but England and Canada and you are usually here before me. I don't know where Russia is." As he said this, he pulled a bottle of bleach from under his chair…

"That is strange…" China sweatdropped. He pulled out another bottle of water. (-_-) He had to squirt Russia as soon as he saw him. He might not get another chance.

Meanwhile America was totally oblivious. He wanted to see what happened when you mixed battery acid and bleach. It would probably be totally awesome explosion. (Yea…no)

China would invite Russia to sit in the chair next to him, and he did, Squirt! Or so China hoped. Instead, there was a huge explosion from the other side of the room. China, out of impulse, threw whatever he was holding in his hand.

NO! THE WATER!

"China, what the heck?!" questioned an angry girl's voice. "Don't throw… wait, what's wrong with my voice?"

The smoke cleared and China saw a young girl with blue eyes, blond hair cut to neck length, and glasses glaring at him. China pointed at America's torso.

"Why the heck am I a girl!?" America yelled. "That's totally weird! What was that stuff?"

"I meant to hit Russia with it. But I fail," China summed up. "Sorry America. This is for your own good."

"Wha-"America was hit on the head with a wok. She fell to the floor, unconscious. China dragged her to a storage closet, shoved her inside, and locked it.

….

"This is too much work. Now after this is done, I have to change them all back! Except Russia," China complained.

"After what's done?" asked a remarkably cheerful voice from behind him. The adorably evil Russia had come. This was China's chance!

"Ha, take this Russia!" China grabbed the last water bottle out of his pack and squirted Russia in the face. China smiled in triumph, but only for a second.

Instead of cute puppy, or panda, standing in front of him, there was an incredibly adorable… snow leopard. Wearing a scarf.

Meanwhile in the land of China… The fat tour guide guy realizes that one spring is mislabeled. "Aiyaa, this should not say 'Giant Bearcat' (**Panda)**. It should say 'Giant Snowcat'. Someone not label spring well."

Back to the allies…

"Oh, so this is what you plan to do…" Russia stated, examining his new form before baring his fangs in a smile. "It's okay. I've been the hurting people with just my teeth before. This makes it easier."

China took off screaming in fear. The snow leopard chased him.

China ran into bed rooms, out the window and across the roof, down the stairs, through the kitchen, pretty much everywhere. And Russia followed him wherever he ran. Finally, China, exhausted, tripped on a rug, and fell to the ground.

"Sorry, you go no further." The snow leopard lifted his front left paw, and extended his claws. China whimpered, covering his eyes and expecting the end. How could this have gone so wrong? He had just wanted Russia to be scared of him for once. To just make him stop trying to kill him every chance he got.

"Haiya!" A combat boot came out of nowhere and hit Russia's face. "Dumb idiot Russia!" America, still a girl, yelled. "We need China to change us back!"

England, still a child, and Canada, still a kitten, who were standing behind him, nodded in agreement.

"Oh, but I was only going to be maiming him a little," Russia pouted.

"No maiming till after we find out how to change back," England scolded. "After that, I'll help you."

China sighed. "Fine, you win. I'll turn you all back. Permanently." China reached into the back pack, and pulled out the water bottles. "Okay, there is just a little left in each, so don't waste." He handed them each the bottle that had held the water that they had been splashed with.

"Why would we want this?" Canada murmured. "This is the stuff that turned us this way in the first place." The others muttered in agreement.

"I never told anyone this. But the permanent cure is very simple. Japan know temporary cure. You just splash yourself with hot water." To prove this point he dumped some random tea kettle on Canada.

"H-hot!" the now human Canada, **(Yes he was wearing clothes! Geez…)** yelled quietly.

"But you turn back every time you get splashed with cold water." China dumped some random cooler of frozen Gatorade on him. "C-cold!" the little kitten mewled.

"THAT'S SO COOL!" America exclaimed. She picked up the kitten and started tossing him around.

"But the permanent cure is easy. I just didn't want to tell people who were cursed in Japan because it was amusing to watch," China explained. "You just boil water from whatever spring you fall into and splash yourself with it."

They followed China into the kitchen, where Canada's polar bear, Kumajirou, was eating an enormous plate of pancakes. He poured the little bit of water left from each bottle into a different pot, and heated them up. The nations splashed themselves with it, found it was correct, and all looked very relieved. Except for Russia. He just looked disappointed.

To celebrate, they made macaroni and cheese, and sat down to eat.

"By the way, how did you get out the closet, and cabinet, and trash can?" China questioned, while they were eating.

"Oh, that's easy," America said, through a mouthful of (Everybody say it with me) PASTAAA! "That weird polar bear thing found Canada because he was hungry, and Canada found all of us, and he unlocked the closet and got England out of the trashcan. Canada said we had to make him some food before we were allowed to go and find you, so we made some pancakes."

"Lousy polar bear," China muttered.

THE END! THE END! THE END! 

**Thank you for taking the time to read this fanfic. This is one of my first, so feel free to leave constructive criticism. And by constructive, I mean that if you criticize, tell me what I did wrong, and what I could do to fix it in future stories.**

** And honestly, I don't know how to really get rid of the curses. I'm only about 250 chapters into Ranma ½.**


End file.
